Back in Action

College hath started back up.

Start up with my 8 am class on Monday! Yeah!

I haven't woken up at 8 am in a year. I'm not even joking. And I need to actually get up before 8 am because we haven't developed teleportation yet.

Way to be a bunch of slackers, physicists.

Anyway, this summer was kinda boring. I mean, this is a blog about my college adventures, and its hard to have awesome college adventures when its summer-

However, I do have something, rather a list of things. Over this summer, I took a calculus III class. The instructor was awesome. This is why:

On the first day of class- Prof: "Why are you guys looking at me like 'what the fuck man'? Watch this magic."

Prof: "So, as we can see, the Harmonic Series grows slower than BP's response to the oil spill."

Prof: "Are you using your calculator for basic multiplication?"
Student: "Damn Right I Am!"

Prof: "What if we were to use more than 2 dimensions? After all, most of you have 3!"
Student: "Most?"
Prof: "Some of you guys are pretty boring."

Prof: "So, you guys better hope the caldera doesn't blow in... about a week and a half from now."
Student: "Or we can hope that you grade the finals before it explodes."
Other Student: "What are you talking about? We really want the caldera to explode early, catching our finals in the blast."

Prof: "Did you guys see that news clip of the guy getting mauled by the Bison?"
Class: "What?"
Prof: "Oh, its really cool. Who brought a laptop to play solitaire on?"

Prof: "So, lets talk about calculus today!"
Student: "We always talk about calculus. Lets talk about something else."

Prof *puts his fists together so that his forearms are making a line across his chest* "Look, Diameter!"

Prof: "This is Pascal's triangle. Named because it was discovered by Chinese, Arab and Indian mathematicians and not Pascal."

Prof *points at e^x* "He. Does. Not. Have. A. Bad. Bone. In. His. Body."

Scary Parts of the Internet, round 2

So, last time I did a post like this, I had stated that it was probably a bad idea to let the US into a treaty that was built around data mining your computers.

It was then generally excepted that this idea sucked. Mainly because we all have things on our personal computers we really would not like to share. With anyone. Ever.

That's just your average American, and that's just your average laptop. Opinions aside, one could just not travel with a laptop, and thus avoiding the main clause that I had problems with in the treaty. Besides, laptops (in comparison to today's technology) are heavy. They're bulky. You need to take them out and have them x-rayed separately when clearing the security checkpoint, which is not only a real pain, but also annoys the people behind you to no end.

Besides, people need to take more road trips anyway. They're an American tradition, dangit. Its an easy, no tech solution to the problem. You don't even have to sacrifice much, and maybe you'll get off your lazy butt and see the Grand Canyon.

Now, lets start getting our hands (and pants) dirty once again, as we delve into other terrifying things about the Internet.

This one is longer than my last post, and due to that it isn't as scary as some things around here on the web. Yet, its also more scary because most people don't get WHY its scary. Aside from someone telling them that it is, at any rate.

And if you believe anything people tell you, then thanks for actually calling up the number on your screen during infomercials, jerk.

So, I dug into the dark depths of the web, slew a kraken and pulled out this treasure:

http://www.securecomputing.net.au/News/214707,goatse-security-claims-gaping-hole-in-ipad-users-data.aspx

First things first: Hi Apple guys who claim their OS rocks because no one can hack it! How ya' doin? What we're looking at here is called a "front door" in hacker language.

It pretty much means that instead of finding a vulnerable spot in your OS code, we simply get your username and password from somewhere else.

This is known to people who still speak English (and not texting gibberish) as "circumvention". I know that's a big word, and you text-speakers out there have used shorthand for so long you can no longer type normally, so I'll define that for you.

Going around a wall rather than knocking it down. So, your data can be protected by the equivalent of the great wall of China, but here we see that if you have personal info stored elsewhere- that data better be protected by the great wall of China too.

And there is only one great wall, so you're SOL.

We have the "usernames" of about 117,000 iPad users. This should scare the crap out of anyone with an iPad. Its not hard to query a server (ie, the one with all your data) for results. There are only two things keeping your info from going all over the net.

And one is about as strong as paper.

First- the fact that AT&T's servers with your personal info are secure. This is probably true. Except for the fact that AT&T's servers are safe against a blackbox software attack. Or, in not nerd- they are safe against a team of hackers that have no foreknowledge of the system. The guys attacking the servers are flying blind and dealing with protections on the fly.

Hacking isn't easy, I'm not claiming it is. Most solo hackers are idiots who just happen to get a hold of a bit of hacking software and run it. They have no idea (mainly) how it works. AT&T is a serious company. Getting hacked would take their profit margin, give it chloroform in a sleazy bar, take it home, and do unspeakable things to it.

And, companies are serious about their profit margin. They'll throw money at lobbyists, who throw words (and probably money) at governments to keep it in the black. As, per-say, the last post on this series.

AT&T is damn sure they're secure against the idiots. Except that it was an "idiot script" that got us the damn usernames in the first place.

The people who can really hack (it takes a combination of insanity, luck, and Zen) are mainly stopped by the fact that a system that is getting hacked flips a shit about it. And then the software protection people mobilize and start fighting back.

But, now, the hackers have a bit of the puzzle- a username. Its a powerful piece- a system generally will not throw up alarms if a username is entered in without a valid password. They can just brute force there way into the system.

The process is similar to guessing some one's telephone number by going,
"111-1111. Damn. 111-1112. Damn. 111-1113 Damn."

Computers can do this at very fast rates. Like a trillion combinations a second.

Which brings us to the second thing saving your ass- your password. The harder it is to guess, the safer you are.

Which brings us back to square one: So, apple users, did you ignore all those password generation ideas and just use "password" because you have an apple product and no one is ever going to hack it?

Oh, and it would appear that several important people in big name positions have an iPad- with a username now out in the public domain.

And the hackers already have your e-mail address. I'll let you ponder that after realizing how many websites ask only for an e-mail address and a password.

You guys are sooooo screwed.

If you use the net, it is time you know about the scary parts

I don't know if this will turn into a series or not, but there are some outright scary things going down in places that should have most of you scared out of your wits.

Most of this is just the facts, from where I can snag them. Any extrapolation is mine.

A lot of the info I pull for this stuff comes from the web, which means that I've a 60/40 chance of it being true. At best.

And that's the best news your getting, so lets strap in, set an away status on the instant messenger of your choice, and grab a soft drink, its time to look at the ugly things hiding underneath your average Internet.

And the normal pits of the Internet? That's getting factored as average. If you've been around the net for more than facebook, then please go get a new pair of pants. I'll wait.

So, let us begin.

http://acta.us.to/ is our starting spot, and, frankly, is by no means tame.

This is like a house cat- you think its all cute and cuddly (and they are!) but then you remember that they commonly prey on more than 200 different species.

At a first glance, this is a treaty signed among nations to stop piracy. That's something I can (aside from being a hypocrite the size of a hippogriff) get behind. Exceptions non-withstanding (and if the product/IP I would like is no longer sold in retail? What if the artist of that album I'm torrenting is dead?) piracy screws over businesses. Probably not as bad as they think, but yes, I am willing to admit that it does cut into profits.

And not all of it can be rationalized away by absurd prices- with some people pirating things just to get them early. And come now, even if they sold games for 5 bucks, we'd still pirate the hell out of them, because its free. Screw quality drops, free things are always better.

Its like the first rule of college.

Ok, fine. Maybe I don't like the idea, but its a morally good one. Just like the fact that I can't break the shins of people who wait until they are at the register to order something after being in line for an hour. I can't get everything I want.

Fine.

Now its time for the scary stuff, the dagger held by the little cute child, if you will.

There is a clause in this agreement that states that they want to also be able to randomly search computers for pirated material a-la random terrorist search at the airport.

Oh, HELL no.

Problem A) Unlike a terrorist search, this has no threat to national security, or the business of running a country. We have nations stepping in for businesses. Last I checked, most of us don't have businesses. I, quite frankly, don't care about your business, I care about your product. Nations should never enter the private sector- at least not on this level. I can understand a state run competitor company, but this is WAY different. You are acting on the market as it stands to keep current businesses in the black.

That violates the best part about a free market- that it is fluid. Businesses grow, and businesses fail. The market works like evolution- those that can adapt, stay afloat. Those that can't, sink. This gives the consumer power over businesses- we can pick which places stay up, and which die. This treaty goes against that in a big way.

Problem B) This is actually an issue that goes against the whole random screening in general, but it applies in a big way here. There is no bounds on the data they can mine from your computer. They'll trawl the whole damn thing.

Examples?
Your search history from when it was 3 am and you were bored.
Your search histories from all the times you were drunk and horny.
Any and all passwords/user names your browser may have saved for quick entry.

And this stuff can be saved in ways and places you might not expect. All it takes is a system restore to before the point you started clearing your Internet history to get any old info. And, a lot of this is saved in more places than just your browsers history- and in ways you might not expect.

And I'm still assuming they don't put anything new on your computer. A virus can trawl up more info than you've ever dreamed. And, of course, leave a nice backdoor.

Now, I know. Most people won't do such a thing, and most places do have securities to prevent some broke TSA agent from stealing your identity. But, that is the big difference between a standard passenger screening and this new digital screening- OK, people ruffle through you bags- you don't keep a lot there. Someone goes through your laptop or computer- and all of the sudden they are seeing a whole lot more than just what type of hand sanitizer you like to use.

Readers: "we're protected by the constitution! They need a warrant!"

Does TSA need a warrant to do a random strip search in the airport? Not currently. And may I remind you that congress has the power to agree to treaties- even if they conflict with the bill of rights?

That's OK. I need to change my pants now too.

Fail me again, humanity. Do it. I DARE YOU.

First things first: This, depending on where you work, is NSFW. If you work in a convent, I suggest finding a library first. If you work at a strip club, I'm pretty sure you see far worse things every night. I didn't bother censoring myself this time. Yes, normally I am a proponent of keeping conversations civil and that we have far more descriptive and creative words to use, but as you will read, I kinda don't feel like trying to make the world a nicer place at the moment.


Long, rant-like post today. I tried to find the humor here, but then I blacked out and a bunch of people ended up dead. They were all holding copies of one of the Twilight series...

I blame a mixed social message- they got in with vampires, thinking it'd be hot and got eaten/drank. I had blacked out because the memories were to painful. Clearly.

I don't know why I had a switchblade covered in blood. Clearly those were puncture marks made by vampire teeth.

In the stomach.

So, as a few of you may know, yesterday was the anniversary of the events that started World War 1. Its a pretty important event, as I think all of you at least know that world war 1 happened, and it was a war, and it involved most of the world.

Ignoring all the political/cultural/future ramifications, the death toll and number of combatants alone makes it an important date.

And as all of you must know, Eclipse comes out tomorrow. Its just another Hollywood movie, with most people going to see it not expecting any sort of real lasting value- there doesn't appear to be a strong thematic message or moral, and in 10 years all our movies will be in 4D with Smell-O-Vision, so we'll probably be looking back on this one the way I look back on silent films.

Pity.

This exchange was lifted from a friends Facebook profile, without permission (This is the Internet, after all. I have standards of plagiarism that I must keep to.)

Friend: "Did you know that today is the anniversary of the assassination of Austrian Archduke Franz Ferdinand. His death sparked the First World War."

Person (middle 30s) in grocery line: "Oh, whatever. Did you know that tomorrow Twilight Eclipse opens! Ooooooohhh, I am soooo excited! Team Edwar...d!"

He said that all he could do was shake his head in disbelief.

It was all I could do not to demand the name of this person and castrate them. Because they clearly been using the wrong head to think with for a very long time.

Note: Castrating a female is tricky, but not impossible. You just need some imagination and a willingness to hate yourself forever afterward.

I can understand you not knowing the exact date that World War 1 started. I didn't myself- I didn't even know the month. I can even (grudgingly at this point) understand that you might not know why WW1 was started.

History isn't your strong point. I'm sure you could point out a million and one things I should know about but don't. Like, for example, how a hot water heater works. Or how the meter on the side of my house measures how much electricity I use.

My power company could be ripping me off in the hundreds of dollars and I'd never even know.

So, I can excuse that you might not know why WW1 happened, or why it was important. Fine.

But to blatantly blow it off for some stupid pop culture phenomenon strikes me as outright irreverent and incredibly disrespectful to the men and women who fought and died in that war. In fact, you have cheapened the lives of almost every human being on the planet, by saying that paying the ultimate sacrifice for a cause isn't even as worthy of remembering as who the hell Edward is.

I don't know. I've never read the books. But, I'm pretty sure that any vampire/werewolf/sick perverted fantasy you may have with such doesn't even hold an iota of significance to even the smallest human sacrifice. Even the ones that don't require us to give up our lives.

Thank you for bringing our lives down to your sick level. Thanks. I hate it down here.

Besides, vampires don't have blood, right? The reason why you're body operates at a nice 97 degrees (give or take) is because of blood transporting heat and nutrients and oxygen around you.

Having sex with a vampire would be like fucking your refrigerator.

Somehow, that metaphor makes this all the more disgusting.

Gettin' Locked Up.

Yep, I went to Prison today.

Its actually rather pretty. Lots of flowers everywhere and a whole bunch of birds. Also, lots of artistically charred ruins from where the old warden's house used to sit.

Where else, but Alcatraz. Which was interesting on several accounts. 1) the actual history of the penitentiary is interesting, and 2) when you give people an audio tour with headphones, they fall silent. Absolutely silent. I had taken my headphones off (after pausing my tour... never fear, I still took a wrong turn and got lost for a bit) to scratch my ear, and the only sounds that greeted me where the shuffle of feet.

It was like a bunch of zombies, minus the moans and huger for human flesh.

Other things: it takes 430 steps to get to the top of Coit tower, which still isn't the highest spot in San Fran. But your calf muscles sure as hell feel like it. And, as far as I can tell, they built Coit tower because they felt like it.

San Francisco Arts Committee: "This hill in the middle of a residential district looks like a good spot for a tower that'll attract idiot tourists".

Ghirardelli Square has no less than 3 chocolate shoppes in it. And they all serve the same brand of chocolate.

This town still feels backward. We passed by the Inga Donut. Which serves Chinese food.

The west coast is just weird.

Hello from San Francisico!

Yep, I'm rockin out the East Coast!

I'll be here in California for the week, and will make an attempt to have a story up every day from here on out.

Judging from my itinerary, this may be difficult. There are several travel days built in, and those tend to be boring on all accounts, and I (hopefully) do have a day of rock climbing on actual cliff faces also set aside.

I may be too exhausted after defying gravity all day to write. Gravity's a bit of a jerk, she doesn't like people going against her all-powerful order that things shall fall.

At any rate, even after one day here, I can tell you that everything is seriously backwards here in San Francisco. Look for a train, get a parking garage. Look for a bathroom, get a hotel lobby.

Go visit in the summer, get flippin' winter.

Today was COLD. And, due to the sliver tongues of some people who used to be my friends, I was in shorts. And a t-shirt.

Other than that, we took a 8 mile bike ride/tour over the Golden Gate Bridge (which, I guess from growing up in New York, part of me wants to shorten to the GGB). And, aside from the assurances of the people we rented the bikes from, aside from the logical impossibility of it, this ride/tour managed to be uphill. The entire way.

Seriously, the place really has seemed pretty. I mean, there are some lower-end areas, don't get me wrong. But uper-end San Fran kicks the crap out of uper-end New Orleans.

Relimited (At times): "You know, I could get a job out in Silicon Vally, and get a house out here..."

But, then I'd here some piped in music from a restaurant, and spend a good 5 minutes looking for a street musician before I figured out it was piped in. I do so like my street musicians.

And, so far, I haven't been able to locate a good tongue in cheek humor t-shirt shop. Its like all the places that sell t-shirts are far to uptight about where they live and refuse to poke fun at it.

That's just... weird.

Out of Style?

WARNING: This post is about books. Judging from the people at the book store, this means that 99.9% of you will walk away in disgust.

Seriously. I was in Border's (a book shop- Its closer than my personal favorite, Barns and Noble's) using it like a big library. I am poor. I will gladly buy all the books I read.

Someday.
Maybe.
Ok, only the good ones.

On with the story! So, I was in Borders books a while back, telling myself that I was going to study for my Computer Science final but really going to read Ender's Shadow.

Normally I'd recommend such a fantastic book, but it would appear that reading is so rare these days that such a point would be totally missed entirely by my readers.

I had three, THREE separate people congratulate me on "Being so absorbed in a book". Including a sweet (I assume, she seemed to be sweet for the three seconds we interacted) old lady who also added that "I should never loose that fantastic gift- the ability to get so into a book".

In the immortal words of my wind band conductor, "huh?"

Since when did getting absorbed in a good book count as a "gift"? Anyone should be able to find a book that they really enjoy and get lost in it, its not some special power that the gods gave me after a quest or some great gift I was born with.

Able to enjoy a book != (that's not equals for all you not Computer Science nerds) artistic genus. Seriously?

Have we moved so far from the written word as a culture that it is now considered "special" to be able to really enjoy a written work? Are we that dependent on motion picture/music?

huh?

I know, I know, I shouldn't get so into three people telling me something. Just because it happened three times doesn't mean anything. I understand how probability works. It wasn't exactly an improbable occurrence. I was reading for a couple hours, I'm sure many people came and went in the book store.

And maybe I get really, really absorbed into a book. I wouldn't know my own "interest rate" in a book vs the average, because questions like that are creepy.

Relimited: "So, like, when you read, like, how deep do you get into it?"

Ranks right under "I want to talk to you about Jesus" please-go-away-faster-you-really-creepy-guy type questions.

Still, moral of this blog post: If you are part of my generation, READ MORE.