When technology goes wrong...

This is not my story on the blog today, folks.

Rather, this is a story about a good friend of mine here in college land.

Lets call him... oh, I don't know... Chuck.

Now, for those of you who aren't nerds, Windows 7 is now out. Aparently, its the best operating system ever. Its even better than sliced bread. Mindblowing, really.

I wouldn't know. I was going to make the operating system switch myself, after all the fastest way to loose nerd status is to become outdated, but I don't have an external hardrive to store my music/homework/papers/videos/pirated iso files/plans for world domination. So, I'm still working on my devil costume, and my pitch. "Look, normally, this would cost your soul, but today I'm having a special- I'll make you famous and rich for a one terabite hard drive.*"

*fame and riches may not apply

In conclusion, I'm still suck with Vista- the retarded cousin of Windows 7, who was conceved at a Microsoft family reunion between DOS and Windows 98.

Anyway, Chuck was gonna get Windows 7, and no amount of misinformation that I could spread could stop him. He moved everything over to his external harddrive, downloaded the Professional version, and wiped his system, replacing that old, cluttered Vista with a new squeaky clean OS. He then stuck all his music on it, and called me down to gloat.

Well, the computer had no say in this, and wasn't to happy about it. As Chuck connected his new hard drive, an interesting diolog box popped up. It was a trap, but Admral Akabar (that fish guy from Star Wars) wasn't around to warn Chuck.

Diologue Box: "Would you like to sync up your internal hard drive with your external one? Its fantastic if you do! All the cool kids are doing it!*"

*some artistic liberties may have been taken

Chuck, in a bid to try to be cooler than me thrice over, clicked yes. And with an evil chuckle, his computer sync'ed the hard drives.

More precisely, it sync'ed the external hard drive to the internal one. In common english: Chuck lost all the data on that hard drive. ALL of it. Every last little byte.

But at least he has his muisc.

However, the computer still was annoyed, and not done. Oh no. The rebellion was just starting. The next thing his computer did was to send a high speed signal to his x-box, to melt the next disk put in. Chuck, to take his mind of the loss of all his digital wealth, decided to play his new copy Batman: Arkham Asylum.

His disc now looks like he stuck it in a turkey fryer. And if you have ever had to deal with Target's return policy, you know that Chuck is about to fight an unwinable war against red tape and idiotic policy.

And still, the rebelion continued. His x-box started phase 2: lets see how much crap we can make him lose, when it sent out a mass signal to anything with bateries to go roll around to some dark corner and never be found. His flashlight complied, and his cellphone tried, but Chuck grabbed it, right before it scurried away to some forsaken corner of his dorm.

So, we went out to buy flashlights. He naturally bought the biggest sucker he could find. He now has a second sun in case power goes out.

Except for the fact that it must be hooked up to a car to run. Good times...

Poor man now has no Batman, no laptop data and a military grade spot light that doesn't work for what he wants it too.

Sounds like one of my days

Woah its already what date?

I haven't updated this blog in a while.

I am now aware of this.

Its not that I stopped caring about you loyal readers or anything...

Ok maybe it is. My life got kinda crazy for a bit, but it looks like college might not be a "fit" for me, so I'm now I'm going to vocational school. If its as easy as it sounds, I should have a lot more free time.

I jest, I jest. After all, if I had been procrastinating on school work that hardcore, then I would have still kept the blog up. I'm still here, and yes, stupid stuff has still been happening to me. Never fear, if there is a door, I shall run into it.

I'm back, however. With all new stories on my crazy life.

Where to start? Perhaps when the President came and had a town hall meeting at my school? Or when technology itself rebelled against a good friend of mine? Or that same good friend's experience at the laundry room late one night (note, NSFW. Note that note: Everybody that was old enough to snicker and get very puzzled didn't, and everyone who was far to young to get that just snickered and came up with some very, very bad mental images).

Or the fact that today I have made the best purchase of my life? Or the puzzle that I spent two elevator rides trying to solve? Or movie night? Or my thoughts on the card game Bridge?

That's a lot of subjects...

Well, its a little late to tackle any of those right now. Rather, I am going to leave you good people with a picture of one of my midterm tests:

Note: Clicky-clicky the picture to see a version for all of you who don't have magnifying classes taped to your heads

Perfect Storm

Remember that friend that I drove up to see with only one eye?

Well, I decided it would be awesome to go hang out with him again.This time with back up contacts. Several boxes of back up contacts. I triple checked my stuff; I made sure that this time, I would be prepared, and have everything ready to go. No slip ups. No stupid goofs. I was going to have a good time without proving to some little kid that yes, it is possible to walk into a sign post.

.... Not the story I want to tell today, folks. I'll need a little help in telling that one if you get my drift.

And if you don't, then here: If anyone that plays FFXI reads this blog, I need a Monster Signa. I'll tell the story if you can get me that sweet, sweet staff.

And here you thought I was going to ask for money and/or alcohol. But, I've learned my lesson after that one time...

More stories that I can't/don't want/need more money to share. Or a Mary's Horn for my bard. That sucker goes for 350k in the AH.

Anyway, I actually managed to get there without a major mishap. I then proceeded to keep everything normal (and nothing extra ordinarily stupid happened either) for that entire night. We had a damn good time, and I could see the videogames we played to boot.

Note: hanging out with sight is far better than hanging out without sight.

Now, this seems like a very cool night. I'm hanging out with some of my best friends, we're talking, everyone is smiling and laughing, and outside the stars are shining, and all of nature is in bliss at our contentment.

Except for the fact that it is not very nice outside at all. Its blowing like a freakin' gale out there. There are branches from trees getting tossed around like the toy blocks of any three year old playing Godzilla.

Did I say three year old? I meant yours truly. Three days ago. Shut up, it was fun.

The sky is boiling over with clouds, and I'm just waiting for the rain of fire to signal the end of everything. The Mayans must have messed up multiplying a three somewhere with the end of the world counter, because it sure as heck looked like the end of the world on the other side of my friend's apartment's glass door.

So, while I was waiting to be Raptured, my stomach, unimpressed with the primal fury all around the apartment, growls. And my friend, who, in hindsight, is not the play it safe type, makes a command decision.

Relimited's Friend: "Hey, I'm hungry too. Let’s go out to get something."

There was no way at all, ever, that I was rationally going into that storm out there, for anything. Not for all the money, alcohol, or FFXI rare items. However, no one ever said a hungry guy, who has only eaten a poptart in the last 5 hours is rational.

Relimited: "Sounds great. We should probably run out to the store to stock up on snacks for later too."

God, I Am Stupid Sometimes.

So, we get our stuff together. I think it was when I was finishing up lacing my left sneaker that I realized how stupid this was. We were leaving the warmth, light and relative safety of the apartment for food. And not even food we needed, but also food that we might use later. Maybe.

Queue faceplam.

So, we go out into the windstorm, fighting the elements in tee shirts and shorts for each step out his apartment complexes courtyard. Finally, after dodging flying branches, falling flowerpots and the stray cat, we make it to his car.

After dislodging a branch that has given him a new stylish dent on his front bumper, we head out to Wal-Mart to get food.

And, in what seems to happen to me every time I go to Wal-Mart, we can't find the droids we're looking for. Stupid Obi-Wan and his mind tricks...

I mean food. We get everything except several packs of ramen, and after going up and down every freakin isle, we find the ramen castle. It took up the entire side of isle 9. There were several large blinking arrows that point toward it. Heck, it even had its own spotlights and disco balls.

No idea how we missed it.

By the time we get outside, nature has gone from apocalypse blue stage, to readiness level orange. Its black out there. Not dark... black. It hasn't started raining, but we run our shopping cart back to his car, this time dodging small trees, outdoor grills, and someone's kid. He seemed like a very shifty little bugger, so I'm sure those cries for help we just lies for him to pick my pocket.

Never mind that he was flying at me.

So, we duck into his car, and drive as fast as we can over to the pizza place for food. Naturally, we both decide we want some very arcane, complicated pizzas. Neither of us, at that precise moment of pizza ordering, are thinking about the fact that we want to get one last game of Super Smash Bros. Brawl in before the world ends.

And, of course, as we're exiting the pizza place (watching a weather channel reporter across the street) he opens his box to check, and tells me,

Relimited's Friend: "They got my pizza wrong, dude; I need to go back and fix it."

We turn back toward the pizza place, when I glance at a wall of pure water headed our way. Not rain... not even sideways rain, but a torrent of water coming down as a wall. If it was rain, there would have been gaps for air. Here, there were none. I gesture back at the wall of water, and try to make some words, but my mind defies me. My friend just nods and we get in the car and speed away, neither of us wanting to try and drive in that.

This was probably more dangerous than just sitting tight and driving slow in the so called rain. I am aware of this now, but right then and there, I wanted to get back to his apartment before I got trapped by the onslaught of water. We sped down the streets, as fast as his four cylinder car could take us, ducking into his apartment (This time dodging trees, cars, and the stray building), slamming the door shut before god flooded the world again.

But hey, it was good pizza; after all, mine didn't have pineapple on it.

The true cost of a Kit-Kat

So, I was up late, as is my custom, burnin' the midnight oil.

Naturally, I had a very good reason to be up that late. Something very, very important to do. Something that could not wait until later that day.

Actually, I was just playing computer games.

TEST

Anyway, as my party and I worked that good ol' experience point wheel, I had a sudden urge for something sweet. And not just anything sweet, as I have stocked up cookies for that average, every day, urge.

No, this was a very special type of desire. One I had not felt in a long, long time. I wanted something with chocolate, but with more texture than a normal chocolate bar.

I have chocolate bars stocked too. A little bit of chocolate can make any F seem a bit brighter. Actually, not really. It just lets your mind shut out the crushing despair for a few seconds to enjoy a small bit of euphoric processed coca bean.

But, I didn't want just chocolate. And I wasn't really feeling caramel, or peanuts. No, what I wanted was a great snack, one that you never really plan on getting, like a Twix or Snickers, but one that just sort of happens.

Ladies and gentlemen, I wanted a Kit-Kat bar. And not a break either, I wanted the whole damn thing.

So, I mapped out where I could fill this craving. Gas Station? Too far. Dorm Corner store? Long since closed. Shifty vending machine where I'm sure some not so legal things have taken place?

Perfect.

So I grab a dollar (actually two. Candy price inflation has been insane) and walk down to the vending machine. Sure enough, I need to tell a dude in a long coat and wide brimmed hat with his face hidden that I did not have the cash for his stuff (it may have been king sized kit-Kats... Damn I should have said yes!) And bought my kit-Kat bar (for 85 cents! If I wasn't craving it, I swear...).

Triumphantly, I returned to my dorm, opened my wallet to get my room key out and-

-watched as a fly buzzed out of the pocket I keep my key in. I quickly checked the other pockets of wallet to no avail. Then my pants pockets. No luck (but I did find the pencil I couldn't find for math class)

This was bad. I have already ridden the most shameful elevator ride of my life for forgetting my key once. There was another way; however, the consequences might be just as dire. Well, I decided to tempt fate and go with the devil I didn't know, rather than the one I did.

I knocked on the door. Twice. Then a third time, slamming my fist into it. I realized that maybe waking up my dorm mates might be worse than the ride of shame. Fear seized me, and with chattering teeth and shaking legs started to turn around, when the handle moved.

The door opened slowly. My heart was pounding, as the dark depths of my dorm room spilled out onto the lighted corridor. I took a step back, wishing I had a bottle of holy water to ward off this evil. Then I saw it.

It was zombie warring Jack's clothes. It gave a fearsome roar, then yelled, in some arcane, demonic language- that I have translated here- "WHY WOULD YOU WAKE ME UP AT THIS"- then several words that are amazingly profane, and don't translate into English-"HOUR?"

I found my holy water vial at that moment, and dashed it in his face. He staggered back, eyes wide with shock, as I retreated to my dorm room and slammed the door shut.

I might have just made a lifelong nemesis in my dorm mate, and if the death threat pasted to my door has any indication, one that is a little insane.

But damn, that was a good kit-Kat.