On Writing

The title is also the title of a book by Steven King.
Its about, guess what, writing.
So is this post today.

However, these two things vary very greatly.

Very, very greatly.

You see, Steven King's book is about writing when it works. This post is about when writing falls apart and what happens to the minds of those who try to read it. It is... interesting.

Definition time!

Interesting: 1) holding the attention, 2) arousing interest, 3) [flapjacks]! [shortcake]! We're all going to [flooring] die!!

I'm going for definition number 3 here.

Anyway, I am currently slogging through writing a geology essay on the geologic history of the Mediterranean sea. Riveting stuff.

It's actually vaguely interesting. I almost enjoy it.

Almost is a funny word, isn't it? Its of like but, it can totally negate whatever positive points something was gaining, and then point out the millions of negatives that are about to bust out like a rabid bear getting poked by hyperactive children in a little stick-cage.

i.e. it's not going to be pretty.

These articles on it read like they where written by a retarted 10 year old desperately trying (and absolutely failing- if people got grades this bad, we'd need a new letter, like S for [fan dangling] SUCKS) to sound smart by making up the most asinine words that, I swear, I have ever seen. Screw spell check, dictionary.com didn't even know what most of this stupid babble was.

Think about that for a second. You take the internet- the source of far to much information, and you put a dictionary on it- which probably has definitions for far to much considering the amount of information its sitting in.

wikipedia even failed me at one point. WIKIPEDIA!

And the rambling.

Oh, gods, the rambling.

I have never known you can string so many words together and get absolutely [chicken][stewing]-bull[flying] nothing. Nothing at all.

These journals lack almost any evidence of the ability to even put your fingers on the keyboard in a cognitive and remotely not-retarded manner.

Dear Readers: "Pshaw. Whatever. Stop [bomb shelling] and work on it"

First, dear readers, I am ashamed. I try to keep this blog family friendly and you go on and say something like [bordering]? For shame, for shame.

Second- oh, yeah, dear readers? Well, just try and pronounce magnetostratigraphy!

Or astrochronology. Its not just nouns for the study of something stupidly arcane, there is also fun adverbs like diachronously, and verbs like disaggregate. I feel like puking just relating this stuff back to you.

I am being totally serious right now.

Combine things like that with a total lack of the ability to structure sentences, much less paragraphs-- While we're on sentences, the passive voice is not for you to use with every [goodness] thing you write. It is definitely not to be used so you can try to avoid setting up a subject in a sentence.

Yes, there were sentences without subjects. You know, that basic building block of English writing? The fact that every sentence must have a subject and a verb?

[gratuitous cursing block. Nothing wholesome to see here folks, move along]

As it stands, I have 7 pages done. And I need to write 3 more.

I have never feared 3 pages of text so much more in my life. And never have I had a general loathing toward a major, but now if you're an EES major, I'm sorry. But I hate your guts.