The true cost of a Kit-Kat

So, I was up late, as is my custom, burnin' the midnight oil.

Naturally, I had a very good reason to be up that late. Something very, very important to do. Something that could not wait until later that day.

Actually, I was just playing computer games.

TEST

Anyway, as my party and I worked that good ol' experience point wheel, I had a sudden urge for something sweet. And not just anything sweet, as I have stocked up cookies for that average, every day, urge.

No, this was a very special type of desire. One I had not felt in a long, long time. I wanted something with chocolate, but with more texture than a normal chocolate bar.

I have chocolate bars stocked too. A little bit of chocolate can make any F seem a bit brighter. Actually, not really. It just lets your mind shut out the crushing despair for a few seconds to enjoy a small bit of euphoric processed coca bean.

But, I didn't want just chocolate. And I wasn't really feeling caramel, or peanuts. No, what I wanted was a great snack, one that you never really plan on getting, like a Twix or Snickers, but one that just sort of happens.

Ladies and gentlemen, I wanted a Kit-Kat bar. And not a break either, I wanted the whole damn thing.

So, I mapped out where I could fill this craving. Gas Station? Too far. Dorm Corner store? Long since closed. Shifty vending machine where I'm sure some not so legal things have taken place?

Perfect.

So I grab a dollar (actually two. Candy price inflation has been insane) and walk down to the vending machine. Sure enough, I need to tell a dude in a long coat and wide brimmed hat with his face hidden that I did not have the cash for his stuff (it may have been king sized kit-Kats... Damn I should have said yes!) And bought my kit-Kat bar (for 85 cents! If I wasn't craving it, I swear...).

Triumphantly, I returned to my dorm, opened my wallet to get my room key out and-

-watched as a fly buzzed out of the pocket I keep my key in. I quickly checked the other pockets of wallet to no avail. Then my pants pockets. No luck (but I did find the pencil I couldn't find for math class)

This was bad. I have already ridden the most shameful elevator ride of my life for forgetting my key once. There was another way; however, the consequences might be just as dire. Well, I decided to tempt fate and go with the devil I didn't know, rather than the one I did.

I knocked on the door. Twice. Then a third time, slamming my fist into it. I realized that maybe waking up my dorm mates might be worse than the ride of shame. Fear seized me, and with chattering teeth and shaking legs started to turn around, when the handle moved.

The door opened slowly. My heart was pounding, as the dark depths of my dorm room spilled out onto the lighted corridor. I took a step back, wishing I had a bottle of holy water to ward off this evil. Then I saw it.

It was zombie warring Jack's clothes. It gave a fearsome roar, then yelled, in some arcane, demonic language- that I have translated here- "WHY WOULD YOU WAKE ME UP AT THIS"- then several words that are amazingly profane, and don't translate into English-"HOUR?"

I found my holy water vial at that moment, and dashed it in his face. He staggered back, eyes wide with shock, as I retreated to my dorm room and slammed the door shut.

I might have just made a lifelong nemesis in my dorm mate, and if the death threat pasted to my door has any indication, one that is a little insane.

But damn, that was a good kit-Kat.